"Day-um!"

This morning dawned with a decided air of reluctance. Thin dishwater clouds skimmed the horizon, fading the potential blue of the sky to a shade I’ve dubbed “spoiled milk”. In short, I considered showering, then tied my hair up and put on three day old jeans instead.
Given my residency in the state of disarray this morning, you can imagine my surprise when a man leaving the metro walked towards me, moved to block my path to the gate, and quite loudly said, “Day-um!” while looking me up and down.
With overly false glee, I replied, “You really think so? Just what I needed today, validation from a stranger! Gee thanks, homeless man!”
The guy furrowed his substantial brow, hunched his shoulders, and muttered, quieter than before, “I ain’t homeless.”
“Could have fooled me. But I guess you weren’t looking for my opinion on your appearance either.” I mime a mic drop while walking into the station, leaving the newly homeless letch to nurse his scalded ego. Provided he was smart enough to even figure out the parallel.